A Christmas Carol: Sasuke the Scrooge
by AnimeDragons
Summary: It's a little late, but here's a little holiday story! Made just for the kicks! Incomplete, but not for long! R&R, no actual pairings intended.
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas Carol: Sasuke the Scrooge. A Holiday Production!!!

Well it's a little late, but here's a Christmas fanfic! Woo! And after this I will continue Half Moon, because I promised my friend I would.

By the way: this doesn't purposely imply any pairings, I just needed some people to fill the characters in, and randomly chose those who I thought would fit the best. It's just for pure lunacy and fun.

The character's aren't mine, all except for Amy, who wouldn't have been included if any of the ninja even had a clue on what Christmas was. Which they don't. So enjoy!

~~

Amy tugged a hat onto Neji's head with a grin. "Look it, he's Santa Claus!"

Neji was NOT amused. "Get this thing off of me," he said. "Now."

"No, thanks." Amy whipped out a second hat and shoved it on Rock Lee's head and then was gone in a flash. "Merry Christmas!" she called to them. "And tell Tenten I'm saying it to her, too!"

"Neji, what do you suppose Christmas is?" Lee asked in confusion.

Tearing off the red and white hat off of his head, inspecting it. "How should I know?"

"Then I'm gonna find out! 'Cause these hats are cool!" With his Rock Lee grin, the ninja in green rushed off toward the village.

[this had nothing to do with the story, I just wanted to put Neji in a santa hat]

~~~~~~~

"Don't even try."

Amy sweat dropped, santa hat poised in mid-air, a foot away from being put on Sasuke's head. "Crud."

Sasuke gave her a side glance. "What are you doing, moron?"

"Giving out santa hats! You get one, too!" She finished the hat's journey and plopped it on his head, then tossed one to Naruto, who was scrutinizing her from his seat on a stump.

"Santa? Who's he?" Naruto studied the hat suspiciously.

"Naruto, I think it may be a place," Sakura said. "Is it, Amy?"

"Sorry, Sakura, but Santa Claus IS a person. He delivers presents to people on Christmas, December 24th and 25th. He rides in a sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer and goes around at the midnight between both of those days and puts the gifts under the tree."

" 'The tree?' " Sasuke arched an eyebrow.

"Yup, the Christmas tree. You drag an evergreen into the house, decorate it with ornaments and garland and holly and lights, and put Christmas presents under it, until Christmas Day, the 25th, where everyone opens them!"

"Oookay..." Naruto said. He had no clue what she was talking about.

Amy wasn't done, though. "Christmas is all about giving and caring for others! Love and family and cheerfulness and all that."

"Bah, humbug..." muttered Sasuke.

Amy whirled to him in surprise. "What! What did you say!!"

Sasuke jumped a little, thrown off slightly by her reaction. "B-bahumbug?" he asked, trying to collect his cool again.

"Aha! You're a Scrooge!" Amy declared. "A Mr. Scrooge! You don't belive in the spirit of Christmas even an ounce, I bet!"

"No, not really. I hardly even know what it is. Love and cheerfulness and all of that though sounds too goody-two-shoes to me."

"That, my emo-panda friend, is where you are wrong!"

Sakura cut in, "Erm, amy, who exactly is Mr. Scrooge?"

"Good question! He was a grumpy old guy who owned a factory and made his workers work even on Christmas! There's a whole story about him, and how he is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. After he gets a talking-to from the ghosts, the Scrooge gets into the Christmas spirit, and becomes a nicer, kinder man for it!"

"What idiocy. See you guys later." Sasuke stood from leaning on the tree, walking off down the dirt road back to the village.

As he was disappearing in the distance, Naruto finally chucklled, "Does he even know he still has that hat on?" 


	2. Chapter 2

Back at his own dark, quiet house, Sasuke absently tugged the hat off of is head and tossed it to the floor. "Humph. This Christmas thing sounds real stupid." It was a little early, but he didn't feel like doing anything or going anywhere, so he went into bed in his room, and fell asleep right away.

Only to be woken up again by a ringing sound. He bolted up in bed. "What the--?" he exclaimed, head shooting left and right. Where was he? This wasn't his bed!

"Sir? Sir! Wake up or you'll be late!"

The wooden door nearby was being pounded on, hard, and with an irritated grunt Sasuke got up to go and open it.

"What is it--" he began to demand, when a fist knocked his forehead.

"Sir, get a move on! It's already noon time!"

Sasuke stared a little stupidly at his disturber. "Aren't you Rock Lee?" he asked. "What's up?"

"Oh, sir! You need to get to work! But sir, please allow me to stay home this night to take care of my little boy! Have a heart! Where is your Christmas spirit?" Lee, becoming mello-dramatic, shed a flow of tears.

"Again with the Christmas," Sasuke hughed under his breath. "Bah, humbug." Louder he said, "I don't care, I don't even know why I'm here. Just do your stupid work and don't complain."

"B-but sir...!" Lee began, then bit his lower lip, still crying. Finally he attempted to suck it up, balling his hand into a fist and declaring through a string of boogers from his nose, "Yes, I suppose you're right...and you ARE the boss, Mr. Scrooge. Alright, now come on, it's time to go--"

"I'm not going ANYWHERE," Sasuke growled. "I don't know WHAT'S going on but I'm NOT getting involved." And with that he slammed the door in Lee's startled face.

What the heck was going on?

Suddenly he heard muffled singing, plus a dog's howl. It was coming from outside his window. He just wanted to go to sleep and make this odd dream end.

He threw open his window over a street he recogized about as much as he did his new room to find a group of people outside caroling.

"First Lee, now these losers. What the heck."

Kiba, Akamaru, Temari, and Ino were all singing carols, Neji, Shikamaru, and Shino all sipping cocoa nearby.

"Will you all go do that somewhere else? I want to go to sleep!"

Akamaru barked at him. "Hey, don't be such a grump, will you!" his owner shouted up as the singing halted ubruptly.

Ino suddenly gasped. "It's the Scrooge! And boy, does he look GOOD!"

Sasuke was not amused.

"Gee, he doesn't care for Christmas even a little," Shikamaru sighed. "Of all the houses to start at, too."

"C'mon, guys, l-let's go somewhere else..." Hinata stammered.

"Merry Christmas," Neji muttered, still loud enough for Sasuke to hear. "SCROOGE."

The carolers left.

Now Sasuke was mad, and was so punctuated in his mood by the slamming shut of his window. They were all crazy! He bet Amy had something to do with this. When he got his hands on that girl...!

Standing there next to the shut window fuming wasn't getting him anywhere closer to strangling her, and he was STILL tired, so he huffed and plopped into the bed again to catch some more Zs.

But that's when he heard the chains. 


	3. Chapter 3

He zipped up again. "Who's there?" It was pitch black suddenly, after what only seemed a moment with his eyes closed. He sensed a figure in the nearby corner, and as he looked toward it through the wall emerged a very familiar face.

"I-Itachi!?" [*for the reason why Sasuke is surprised instead of completely enraged, you would have to know the story line of my own fanfic series--right now the closest thing to a clear up would be the first and so far only story in "Amy's Bits: Naruto-Based!"*]

"Mr. Scrooge..." Itachi moaned, inching toward the bed and the sitting Sasuke, who noticed that he had chains curtaining off of his body.

"I'm Sasuke, you dope. What is it? What's with the chains?"

"Mr. Scrooge..." Itachi repeated. "Mr. Scrooge, don't end up like me. I never believed in Christmas. this is what happened; I died a chained soul, having been addicted to power, ignorant of the feelings of joy that accompany Christmas and dying still as a greeedy person." This was SO Amy's doing; it had her name written all over it.

"Itachi. You're not dead." What was he thinking, anyhow?

"You don't believe my story? You don't believe I'm a ghost, Mr. Scrooge?"

"You're NOT a ghost, and I know it," Sasuke growled.

"I am no figment of your imagination, Mr. Scrooge. Let me prove it to you." Itachi's eyes shifted to the mangekyo, and all at once Sasuke found himself in searing pain, which, while different than the mangyeko's regular effect, hurt quite a lot.

"Fine! Fine! You're a ghost! Whatever!"

The sharingan snapped back to the way it was before. Itachi's mouth was grim (but that was normal). "Tonight, you will be visited by three spirits, the Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Future, each in turn. They will strive to teach you to believe in Christmas and the holiday spirit, so you may be saved. I wasn't so lucky. Best wishes to you, and remember to heed their words and warnings." With that, Itachi slowly turned around again, and walked through the wall.

Sasuke stared at the spot he'd gone through a moment, then shrugged it off as something realy, really creepy and peculiar, then tried to fall asleep again.

And then he heard the rattling of something wooden.

What NOW!?

"Hey. You. Wake up."

Sasuke bolted up, kunai in hand, like the good trained ninja, but when he scanned the room, he saw nothing, vaguely noticing that he was still in the room he didn't recognize.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

"Uh-uh, I don't listen to YOU, you listen to ME. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past. How're ya doin', Mr. Scrooge?"

"My name's Sasuke Uchiha, not Scrooge! Where are you?"

There was a chuckling sound throughout the room, before the reply. "Over here." And into the moonlight filtering through the window inched something wooden, with a mop of prickling brown on its head and a shawl the color of dirt.

It was a startling sight, but not an unfamiliar one. "Kankuro? Where are you?"

"Who? Kankuro? Never heard of him." Suddenly a presence was next to his ear, breathing into it. "BOO."

Startled, Sasuke stumbled away--the bed was NOT a steady place to stand on--and was caught and held prisoner by Crow's waiting arms.

"Hey! Let me go!"

"No. I have to show you something. It's my job as the Ghost of Christmas Past." Kankuro emerged into the moonlight, a red santa hat on his head.

"What're you--whoa!" All at once the room was dark, and then there was no room at all as Sasuke felt a chill breeze. Crow's arms unfolded, and Sasuke fell, into a drift of freezing snow.

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Sasuke demanded.

Kankuro didn't look at him, but instead nodded in front of him. "Look in there."

Sasuke obeyed grudgingly, and didn't really understand WHAT he was looking at, just a street with a lot of buildings.

But he DID notice something else. Why the heck was he in a tuxedo??

"Mr. Scrooge, get in here, you'll catch a cold!"

"What?" Sasuke blinked stupidly at the somehow younger version of Rock Lee who had just come out of the double doors on the closest building.

"C'mon! Let's party! Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"Enough with this stupid Christmas mumbo-jumbo!" Sasuke growled. He whirled on Kankuro. "Why the heck did you bring me here--?" he began, when he saw that both him and Crow had disappeared.

Sasuke almost swore, then remembered that he was in a fanfic rated K+ to T and didn't.

"Come on!" Lee shouted again, then disappeared once more into the building.

"This is just messed up," Sasuke growled, then followed Lee, having nothing else to do.

Inside, Sasuke was surprised to be ambushed from the side before he could examine his surroundings, the assault accompanied by a familiar squeel. "Mr. Scrooge! There you are! How are you!"

Sasuke reacted immediatly, shoving Sakura away roughly. "Get off of me, idiot."

Sakura's eyes welled up with tears. "B-but Mr. Scrooge...!" she sniffed.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

Sakura sniffled, then bawled, and pushed past Sasuke toward a hallway with a hanging sign labeling it as the bathroom.

"Oh, smooth move, Mr. Cool," Kankuro said.

Surprised, Sasuke turned his head to find that the Sand Genin had appeared once again. "What're you talking about?"

"See, this is why you hate Christmas. You were starting to become greedy, and thought more about yourself than the love of your life."

"Excuse me?" coughed Sasuke. "When--what--what the heck are you talking about!?"

"Let me show you."

The church--for that's what it was, funny enough, despite its shabby appearance--went hazy for a moment, then materialized again. The pews were all filled up with the young ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Others he recognized were there too, like Haku and Zabuza. But weren't they dead? Well, not like anything ELSE was making sense anymore.

At the end stood Sakura in a wedding dress, next to Naruto, who was in a tuxedo, like the one Sasuke still wore. He looked at Kankaro. "Sakura married Naruto?" he asked, perplexed.

"Thank you for actually using past tense. You're finally getting it, aren't you?" Kankuro nodded. "And on Christmas Eve, just a year after you pushed her away. Just another reason that you despise Christmas so much."

"No, I hate Christmas because it sounds bubbly and boring. Can I go home now?"

Kankuro grunted. "You still have two more ghosts left to face, though, just so you know. Maybe you'll understand by the end of your meeting with the Ghost of the Present the true meaning of Christmas. I shudder to think what'll happen if you end up going all the way to the Ghost of Christmas Future."

"Wait, there's MORE?" Sasuke demanded, as the scenery changed, and he felt a wave of frustration as he found himself once again in the room that he didn't recognize. And Kankaro was gone when everything solidified again.

He smacked the wall with a growl. This was NONSENSE! He was going to murder Amy for this one, she could be sure of that. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke of course knew that there was another imbecile to come and another after that, so he tried to get some sleep while he could, and sure enough, he woke up to another odd noise. Though this one was odder than the rattling of chains or the creaking of wooden hinges. It sounded like someone...eating.

He sat up slowly, hardly believing his ears. And to his bizarre amazement, a table covered end to end with a large feast had been set up in the middle of his room, a candlebra supplying ample light. Also, sitting at it was none other than Choji, in another of those red and white santa hats.

Sasuke looked at him weirdly. Choji, seeminly oblivious, wolfed down his food, one dish after another, only pausing to release a loud, hearty burp.

"Why are you eating in my room...?" Sasuke finally got around to asking.

"Herro," Choji said through a mouthful of food. "Em tha Ghosht of Krishmish Preshen." (Translation: "Hello, I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present.")

"Okay then. So what are YOU here to do?"

"My job."

There was a silence as Sasuke waited for Choji to elaborate a little more, but he just continued wolfing down his food.

"So? What are you going to do? Just eat the whole time? I'm learning an aweful lot about Christmas this way, let me tell you."

Choji wiped his mouth on a napkin with a frown, pushing his chair back and finally standing. "How rude. I was eating. Alrighty then, Mr. Impatient, we'll get rolling now. Speaking of rolls..." choji reached for a basket on the table that was filled with bread, and Sasuke watched in irritation as he stuffed a few into his mouth.

As the last snagged roll was devoured the room grew hazy again, and after a brief moment Sasuke found that he and Choji had come to a small, cozy house with a small fire lighting the room. There was a thick wodden table and not much else besides decorating the room, and at it sat what looked to be a haggard Tenten, who sat as if the table had a very interesting ingraving on it. Which it didn't.

"Okay then. What's wrong with you?" Sasuke asked 'Tenten.'

But Choji, standing next to him, shook his head. "No one's going to hear you this time. We're invisable, and no one can hear us. We can't even touch anything."

"Well that helps. What am I supposed to do, then?"

"Just watch."

The door opened suddenly, a flurry of snow and wind rushing through, and into the one room house walked Rock Lee, looking very much as he had when Sasuke had seen him on the other side of the door back at the room that wasn't his.

"Dear, we're home!" Lee cried cheerfully. He lifted up a bundle he had been holding in his arms. "And we have Christmas dinner!"

" 'We?' " Sasuke asked Choji, arching an eyebrow.

"Daddy, I'm hungry..." said a voice that was too deep to be a child's, and into the room after Lee came Might Gai, in toddler clothes, a crutch under one armpit.

Sasuke choked on air in surprise. What the heck!?

"I know, I know little guy, we'll get going. Close the door for me, please, would you?"

"Yes, Daddy," said Gai, shutting the small door.

"Okay, this is messed up on so many levels," Sasuke choked.

"Well, Little Gai had an early growth spurt. What do you do?" Choji shrugged.

"How old is he supposed to be??"

"Six. And a half."

"He doesn't look any younger than 30."

"How rude. Keep watching, would you? Sheesh! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all."

Lee set the packae on the table and opened it up to reveal a hunk of bread.

"It looks delicious, Lee, you've done a wonderful job."

"Too bad I have to work tomorrow. I asked Mr. Scrooge, but he told me to come anyway. I just wish that for one day I could stay home with my family, especially on C-Christmas...Christmas Eve..." Lee was getting all snifly again.

"Oh, suck it up," Sasuke huffed.

Choji scowled. "Where is your heart?"

"I haven't a clue. Can I ask you something, Choji?"

"My name is NOT Choji. I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present! We're watching what is happening RIGHT NOW, only as ghosts, and we're here, not cooped up in your dark little room. So I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, you got that??"

Sasuke glared. "Whatever. Can I ask my question now?"

Choji returned the glare a moment, then turned away with a grunt. "Go ahead."

"Why does Gai-sensei--I mean Little Gai--have a crutch under his arm?"

The mood around Choji became gloomy in a mere moment. "About time you asked. Little Gai has Polio, and thanks to the state of poverty Rock Lee and Tenten are now living in, they can't get him medical attention that could save him. As it is, Little Gai won't survive to live long enough to see his 10th birthday."

Sasuke wasn't too thrilled on how moody the atmosphere was getting. "Um. Okay. If Lee is so desperate to stay home with his son then he should, obviously."

"Dummy!" Choji smacked him across the head. Sasuke rubbed it and gave him a look of death. "He's trying to save money for the operation, and he can't do that if he looses his job with you, Mr. Scrooge. I really think you should have a heart and give Rock Lee the holiday off. And a raise."

"Uh-huh. Whatever."

"You're not listening, are you?"

"Well nobody's listening to ME. I'm NOT Mr. Scrooge, so don't expect anything out of me."

"You ARE Mr. Scrooge. Don't try to worm your way out of this. At this rate, you'll be on your way to the host of Christmas Future." Choji shuddered. "Are you sure you don't believe in the Christmas spirit now?"

"I'm sure. I think I can handle another one of you losers."

"Oh, dear. Very well, then I suppose, let's head back." The room was hazy and then it was dark, and there was a bed in the corner.

Choji, and the table with the food on it, were gone, but Choji's voice wasn't. "Too bad, Mr. Scrooge, but you'll have to meet up with the third and final ghost, the Ghost of Christmas Future. I guess I kind of feel sorry for you. Oh well, not my problem."

"No, it's not, Sasuke growled, and shuffled over to the bed and plopped down onto the bed to wait once again. 


End file.
